Self-Worth and Pillars

Self-worth is one of those catchy phrases that gets tossed around a lot, especially when you are talking about girls. With the constant bombardment of unhealthy expectations and images our young people see, it’s easy to understand why it seems that young girls are having a difficult time having a strong sense of self-worth.

I am not interested in giving my daughters inflated egos or a worldly sense of over-importance. But I most definitely want to give them a strong sense of their worth in Christ and their worth to Christ. One of my very favorite Scriptures recently opened up to me in a new way and it fits into this idea perfectly.

psalm14412

That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; That our daughters may be as pillars, Sculptured in palace style; 

Psalm 144:12

There are three things that occurred to me about pillars.

First – they are strong. Pillars hold buildings up. They are solid, strong, and dependable. I want my daughters to be strong. Strong-minded, knowing without a doubt what they believe and why. Strong-hearted, knowing how to love and be loved. Strong-willed, knowing who they are and who their God is and able to walk their unique path without being swayed. And strong-bodied, able to work and serve in the Church and eventually their own families. The Proverbs 31 woman is clothed with strength and dignity. I want my daughters to be women of strength, that can be depended on for their heart, mind, and service.

Second – they are sculptable and submitted. Pillars have to be sculpted. I want my daughters to be teachable. Equally as important as strength is submission. Pillars are not out on their own. They’re under the covering of the structure. A strong will needs to know how to get itself under a covering and be willing to be molded by it. I’m not talking about any weird cult stuff here, I’m talking about learning how to function in a leadership structure. Whether it be as a child at home, an employee in a workplace, or a wife in a marriage – there is always a structure and everyone needs to learn to take their place in it. Pillars are beautiful, strong, foundational, and under a covering. I want my daughters to be sculptable enough to understand a solid Biblical family or church structure and how they fit in it.

Third – they are beautiful. Palace Style. Think for a moment about palace style and what that looks like to you. I see graceful women that know how to handle whatever situation arises with calmness, dignity, and control. That is palace style. They care for themselves and how they present themselves to the world. Not in a self-absorbed way but just to be demonstrating their best to the world. To be dignified and grace-filled. It’s easy for this one to get misconstrued as advocating a fake front but that is the last thing I’d ever say. Even if the neighbor shows up at your door and you’re still in your pajamas or there are dirty dishes all over the kitchen, be graceful. Be welcoming. Smile. Offer a cup of coffee. Dignified. That is palace style.

My hope is that in teaching my daughters these three things, among others of course, that they won’t need an inflated ego and they won’t believe the fake images that are portrayed on social media or television. They will know who they are – strong, sculptable, beautiful. They will know the One that loves them and that He is far more valuable to them than all the followers, likes, or retweets in the world. And that is a strong sense of self-worth.


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