Sometimes life just brings you back to the same lessons over and over again.
I’m struggling with feeling thankful.
You see, this isn’t just being unthankful because I don’t have ______ or because we can’t ______. I’m struggling with unthankfulness in the midst of a challenging situation. Someone is choosing to be downright awful to me, definitely unChristlike and borderline illegal, but there’s little that I can do to right the situation. To say that it’s frustrating is an understatement. I have been brought to tears with the anger and confusion over it all. But when the rational voice (aka my husband) breaks through, I’m reminded that it’s out of my hands and the only thing I can control is my reaction, my character, and my good name.
My flesh strongly prefers action, correction, dare I say it – vengeance?
But that is not my portion for this season. So I’m back to stretching my mind and flesh towards thankfulness. We are healthy, warm, and fed. Josh has a great job. Are things difficult some times? Yep. But I have to trust that through this challenge, God is sharpening me.
We were all talking last night about difficulties in life and how they’re handled. Something came up and my oldest said ‘But you’ve had a horrible month and you don’t do that.’ And in that moment I realized God is sharpening us all through this. My children are seeing and watching how I handle adversity. Hello, wake up call.
So today I’ll think about thankfulness and look for the things around me that God has provided. I’ll keep working on my One Word and praying for help. And I will stop giving moments of my life to people that choose to do me wrong.